Gotcha !*

All work and no play...
Updated February 27, 2008

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Collage Loans --- 'cuz I gots to go to collage to lurn to spel! The same error appears three times in this snippet. ===> Confession: I didn't find this one myself - one of the visitors to my site suggested it, and I considered it eminently suitable for this page. Thanks, Catherine!

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How much was that LCD TV again?

This ad was included in a weekly e-mail sent to customers in October 2004 by a Canadian online computer shop - they sent out a revised version ("under $1500") within hours of this...

Graphics

If you're putting together a page with any graphics, please remember that not everyone is surfing the net on a T3 line or some other broadband Internet connection.
Try to keep the size of graphic files reasonable - if necessary, use an online graphic optimizer (see the link below).
On March 31/04, I sent an e-mail message to the webmaster in the Saskatchewan Executive Council to suggest resizing of the photo of the Minister of Finance.
I didn't receive a reply, and the file wasn't changed.
My message is copied below.
Follow the links to see:
(1) how to use graphics ineffectively on your web page, and
(2) how to control filesize of your graphics so that other webmasters aren't compelled to use your site as an example of bad web design.

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Hi, I just popped by to read the Finance Minister's bio on this page:
http://www.executive.gov.sk.ca/min_bios/40134.htm

The accompanying photo was taking a long time to download on my cable Internet connection, so I checked the file size: 2.2MB
(2000X30000 pixels, large enough to count the Minister's nosehairs...)
http://www.executive.gov.sk.ca/images/min_hshot/vanmulligen_hshot.jpg
[DEAD LINK - 02/08]

I'd suggest reducing the size and optimizing it using Netmechanic:
http://www.netmechanic.com/GIFBot/optimize-graphic.htm

In Solidarity,
Gilles Seguin

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*Update: February 27, 2008:
Governments come and go, and the old Finance Minister has moved on to greener pastures.
The new government website design team appears to understand the finer points of adjusting graphic file sizes; the new Saskatchewan Finance Minister's photo is just the right size.
Message to webmasters-who-know-dick-about-filesizes : you can run but you can't hide.
Because Archive.org captures snapshots of websites at different points in time (read about Archive.org here), I retrieved the link to the latest version of the Saskatchewan Finance website and found The Honourable Harry Van Mulligen (former SK Finance Minister) - in all his 2.2MB glory, for your viewing pleasure (17 nosehairs.)

[larger version of this photo]

And they called it puppy love... [ http://paulmartintime.ca ] ......................................................................... Paul Martin and George W. Bush at the Special Summit of the Americas ......................................................................... Related Link: Paul Martin and George Bush: Brothers in arms (January 22, 2004)

[larger version of this photo]

SPAM - received January 16/04

The p·e·n·i·s·p·a·t·c·h - for people practising abstinence? E-mail spammers are sometimes not too bright in matters related to spelling (often because English isn't their first language) and math (often because they're not the sharpest pencils in the box --- see the next entry below). But you'd think that a photo of a couple making out would be pretty much a no-brainer... Click on the thumbnail to see a larger version of the the p·e·n·i·s p·a·t·c·h photo (it's not vulgar or anything...), then try to figure out how these two people can be "doing it"...

SPAM - received February 8/03

Sheesh - when you're sending your junk mail to a gazillion people, the least you could do is impress them with your ability to write the same amount in letters and numbers...
Would you want to take out a loan with these folks?
Me, I wouldn't want to borrow even fifty dollars ($55) from them...